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March 16, 2004 DAY #140


Good evening! First the good news! I have recovered from the cold. My digestive system seems to be back to normal, as long as I stick to a totally bland, milk free diet. My liver is functioning OK. Blood counts and chemistry are fine. They are still studying the punch biopsy, but haven't found anything yet. The rashes are disappearing. The "snakebite" is almost healed. I am feeling stronger just about every day. My appointment was funny today. The nurse called my name, so I stood up and started toward her, and she said, "No, the other Mr. Wilcox." I said "How many Mr. Wilcox's do you have?" She said several and asked if I was there to see my doctor, to which I replied in the affirmative. She asked if my name was Ted, and again the answer was yes. She shrugged and took me to the examining room. She said there was another Ted Wilcox who was a big guy just like me. I responded with, "I think you have mistaken me for myself!" I asked Menchie for my hat, and put it on, and asked her if I was the right person now, and she just cracked up and said that I was! It was very funny. She didn't recognize me without my hat. Maybe next week I will wear a ball cap, just to really confuse things.

Now the whining part. This treatment is definately hard. It seems like this part is about as hard as anything I have been through. All the physical hard stuff was easy, just head down and push through it. Now, it is all mental. From my perspective, the future looks like a depressing string of drearily identical days, tied to a strict schedule of eating, drinking and pill popping. I am at day 140, and I feel like I haven't made any progress since day 99. I can tell you what drugs I took on any day since mid November. I can tell you how much water I drank in any hour of any day since then, as well as what my temperature was morning and evening. In six months, I will be able to tell you the same thing for all that time probably too. It seems like it will never end. I want to be healthy NOW! There are lots of personal things that I want to do that I can't for one reason or another. So, I slog on through the days, trying to focus on the positive more and more as time goes on. Many aspects of my life are wonderful, so I need to keep that in mind all the time. There are lots of little frustrations, but I have to keep in mind what one of the chaplains at City of Hope told a friend, my cancer is gone for now, and I am still alive. Thanks for letting me whine! I feel better now.

On the medical front, nothing much changed since last time. The doctor will probably cut my prednisone next week some more if things are still going well. My next appointment is a followup with the dermatologist on Monday, then back to my regular doctor on Wednesday.

Lab Results

Blood Cell Type

Normal Low





WBC 4.5 - - 5.7 5.8
RBC 4.20 - - 3.77 3.73
HGB 13.0 - - 12.4 12.5
PLT 130 - - 244 228

Until next Wednesday!


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